my creativeness is strangling

I feel like I need to write. I don't know what about. I've turned my creative side off in the last few weeks due to needing all I have to focus on academia and employment. And to this I say "BOO!" Today I have nothing to accomplish in either realm, and so today I am sitting cross-legged on my couch, drinking coffee, listening to The Airborne Toxic Event (Deluxe Edition), and thinking of all the things I should be doing for every other attention starved area of my life instead:

a) reading my Bible. Good God my spiritual life has both flourished and been squandered in the last several weeks. I have learned so much and yet am constantly reminded of how much more I could be doing. For in all this mess that is my life, that is the point.

b) cleaning my room. If you were to enter the realm that is Bethany, this girl would be flat embarrassed to say the least. I'm never home save for sleep. I come home, change from my scrubs, usually toss them on the floor, sprawl out my homework all over the kitchen table, then pass out whenever that is done, only to lather rinse repeat the very next day. Speaking of, here is revelation...

:pause for laundry:

c) reading up/studying for my finals. Or reading the two new books I just purchased by Emily Dickensen and Lee Stroebel.

d) Two words. Working. Out. While the stress of these last ten weeks has forced my sleep deprived body to lose 10lbs, and while I am on my feet and going 16 hours everyday, I. Am. Horribly. Out of shape!

e) writing new music. I have two shows coming up, one with a national band, so I am in heavy need of new things. Oh and not to mention, I am getting ready to start work on my first album....

Having ADD is lending myself to getting bored with this basically self absorbed "to do" list. Because lets be honest. a) who is actually reading this and b) who really cares.

That's a better list.

While typing it all out did let me see a clear list of what I need to do as well as let me procrastinate actually accomplishing said list, it's time to put up or shut up. So despite the fact that a nap truly is what I want to do, I'm going to try and get to the heart of what matters and in turn accomplish the tasks that spoke off of that heart.

P.S. - Sometimes when I type, I feel like I'm full of a lot of bullshit, honestly. I genuinely am feeling the effects of pushing pause the creative heart of me...