front door.

i went to sleep with tears.
i woke up with tears.
and i can't tell you if i'm doing this to myself.
i don't know where my head is.
i feel like my heart is spinning.
and i'm trying to state this plainly
as to not lose anyone's train of thought
especially my own.

maybe i just need to be a recluse.
maybe i just need to recharge.
but how do i do that.
and what does that look like.
again, more questions to my soul.

maybe i should just wear a sign
a sign that says warning:not normal
but then i'd suppose i'd have to make signs for us all.

so. here i sit. lost in thought.
praying that You show me that You're in control.
and here i sit. not wanting to leave.
but knowing that i must walk out this front door.
my brain is a mess and my heart is spinning.
but i must keep going.
i must walk out this front door.